Da chrioncles of Hugwarts: Or I didn't pass English.

Today's abomination is  Da chrioncles of Hugwarts byxXxkeepaofKEYYZxXx. It can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8004765/1/Da_chrioncles_of_Hugwarts

Summary:

Hagrid and his "Mary Sue" girlfriend are at Hogwarts. Another boy tries to steal her from Hagrid.

My Review:

The spelling and grammar are atrocious and they don't  get better. They take away from the story. But I digress. On to the actual story.

We are introduced to our original character Saphirella Lovley Dovell Geniune Magickal Neon Marie .The extremely long name  is the first clue that she is a Mary Sue.  She also has a power that she doesn't know about but Hagrid does. Yet another clue that she is a Mary Sue.  My question is when does this take place? Hagrid doesn't move into his hut until he is kicked out in his third year. And the explanation of Saphirella staying in the hut really doesn't make sense. If she is 11 then she doen't need to be in the hut alone with a member of the opposite sex. I don't think Hogwarts Admins will be okay with that. So Saph gets into a fight with some 'slooty" girl and turns into this werewolf thingy.  The other girl runs away or something. I can't really tell. The Saph goes to school. 

In the second chapter we see Saph's sister Floor. I think it's supposed to be Fleur Delacour . Which brings up some more questions. Like why is Hagrid banging a 11 year old girl? Cause Hagrid should be in his 40s or 50s at this point. Does Dumbledore support pedophilia? What's Fleur doing at Hogwarts? Didn't she go to school at Beauxbatons in France? Why is she dating George? Didn't she marry Bill?

We also meet Saph's friend Jenny who is dating Ron. Wait...Ron is dating his sister Ginny? That Ginny? Ewww. Incest.  Wow this author is  really confused with her timeline and pairings isn't she? 

So Saph gets sorted and put into Gryffindor. She gets told she is brave and pretty and as smarts a "snark".  We also get to meet Albert Doombladora.  This author can't spell names worth a shit. Dumbledore calls the Sorting Hat a stanist for making Saph cry. 

Chapter two is more confusing then the first. Chapter three is a sex scene between Saph and Hagrid. I'm not going to go into detail on that one. The story  kinda ends there. The author hasn't decided to update to since. All in all this story gets an F.  The spelling was horrible, the story was all over the place, and Hagrid turns into a pedophile.